Dan and the Amazing Multisubject Dreamblog

A lot of ground to cover, so let's blog...

I Have the Power!

Last week, a group of us went to Hibachi's to celebrate Mike's impending journey to Hawaii, where he will be living for the forseeable future. Before dinner (and before the hostess uttered the dumbass comment I referenced in my last blog), Mike bestowed a gift upon me that can't be wrapped or placed in some ubergirly Hallmark Gift Bag...

Mike gave me his powers.

To provide a backstory, Mike received his powers last year from Bill, who was the first in our inner circle to move to the land of leis and publicly roasted pigs. Ever since Mike made his decision to also make the Hawaiian journey, he promised that he would pass those same powers down to me. True to his word, Mike waved his hands at me in a spastic motion, which ultimately granted me the same mystical functions that were given to him.

"Ooh, but Dan?"

Yes, hypothetical creation of my own warped mind?

"What do those powers entail?"

Glad you asked!

The powers include (but are not limited to):

• The ability to eat with chopsticks
• A heightened sense of laziness
• A more keen awareness of random websites that almost no one else knows about
• And much more!

In terms of my chopstick prowess, I have been able to use them as a suitable fork replacement for a good year or two. Yet, I won't lie...I felt a heightened sense of chopstick-grabbing ability almost immediately, as I ended up eating with said wooden utensils twice in one week. As for my laziness? Well, it has taken me five days to write about my new abilities, so I think that pretty much speaks volumes about the validity of my newfound powers.

Oh, and visit www.bash.org. Good stuff.

We also took one last group journey to Echelon Mall's cookie stand on Friday, where Mike ordered 30 cookies to bring a taste of New Jersey to Hawaii. I normally would apologize to all Hawaiians for even insinuating any impending relationship with Jersey, but the cookie supercedes all. It's that simple.

On a semi-serious note, I do sincerely want to wish Mike all the best of luck in his new life in Hawaii. We've had a ton of laughs and good times in the four years that we've known each other (mostly at the expense of other people/lifeforms). So to quote famed Hawaiian philosopher Don Hoe...

Ummmm...

"Welcome to Hawaii."

What Are You Doing?

Last night, I had my final performance for my Advanced Improv Class with Comedysportz. I don't know if I can speak for the rest of the team, but I felt everyone did an absolutely fantastic job. On a personal level, last night was the culmination of a year-and-a-half of working towards a dream of mine, which was to perform on a ComedySportz stage. I mean, only in improv could I get away with the following without people completely questioning my sanity:

• Make up words like "tantamountly"
• Imitate the Crocodile Hunter in the middle of WaWa
• Profess my desire to figure skate in Torino to the melodic stylings of "Endless Love"...followed by a romantic dinner consisting of snow cones
  
• Challenge someone to tackle an antelope

On second thought, people probably thought I was nuts. And they would be right.

Until next time...
Dan