Yes, It's One Them Damnfangled "New Post" Things

I didn't quite realize how much I'd faltered on providing some concrete blogitude over the past several weeks.

Um, oops?

So for the last remnants of whatever reading audience I have remaining, I think it's time to dust off the tried-and-true...

What Dan Learned (Since He Last Blogged)

• There is nothing wrong with inventing new and crazy wrestling gimmick matches that involve the Golden Girls. "Bea Arthur on a Pole" is money...money I tell ya!
• If you ever bring your PS2 to your friend's house and forget to bring your multitap, there is only one solution...go to KMart, buy a new one, and return it the next day in hardly-returnable condition.
• If you're ever wondering whether or not it's customary to tip furniture delivery drivers, have Ikea deliver your furniture. They'll make that decision REAL easy for you.
• I am having very violent fantasies of the things I wish to do to my nonfunctioning office printer right now. My current one involves a sledgehammer, a sabre-toothed tigre, and a mushroom cloud.
• When you're cooking fries and they are repeatedly setting off your ubersensitive fire alarm, there is a very simple solution...take the batteries out of the fire alarm.
• Rest assured, I can out-DAH anyone in the world.
• Rest assured, only three people know what the hell I'm talking about...and I don't think any of them read this blog.

That is all.

Until next time...
Dan

Como Se Dice "Pure Genius" en Espanol?

On an almost-daily basis, I use FedEx.com to ship all of our immigration documents to incoming students. I went to the homepage today and came across this gem of corporate genius...


Hey, it's great that they've finally decided to join the 21st century and offer customer service in Spanish. It's just a shame that to find out how exactly you can talk to a rep en espanol...you need to understand the statement in English.

Now back to my regularly scheduled drudgery...

Until next time...
Dan