Because Nothing Says I Love You Like...

During my break today, I stopped in the "Closeouts R Us" store in the Granite Run Mall. Now I have found some twisted stuff in my day, but my newest find truly takes the cake. Rather than my typical uploaded picture (mainly because I didn't take one), I'll just paste my IM conversation with Mike from just a few minutes ago...

(Screen names have been changed to protect the twisted)

Dan (1:00:36 PM): you will never guess what kind of valentines cards they had
Mike (1:00:49 PM): arabian?
Dan (1:00:52 PM): even better
Mike (1:00:58 PM): yiddish?
Dan (1:01:10 PM): more specific than that
Mike (1:01:30 PM): I give up
Dan (1:02:18 PM): crocodile fuck hunter
Mike (1:02:30 PM): youre fuck kidding me
Dan (1:02:33 PM): i swear to God
Mike (1:03:08 PM): wow
Mike (1:03:17 PM): valentines day cards featuring steve irwin

Now, before I post the next part of our conversation, I want you to take special notice of our respective timestamps. If this doesn't prove that Mike and I are Satan's heir apparents, I don't know what will...

Dan (1:03:31 PM): "My love for you is like a stingray barb to the heart. Happy Valentines Day"
Mike (1:03:31 PM): "You strike my heart like a stingray"

I need not say more.

Until next time...
Dan