"What Dan Learned" Is Moving!

Yup, I've decided to retire the old Blogspot account and jump ship to MySpace. I feel like the Benedict Arnold of blogging right now.

Ok, no I don't. I just felt like being overdramatic.

Oh right, the new blog. It's at http://blog.myspace.com/thenameisdan.

See you on the other side...
Dan

Phucking Around With Photoshop + My Blog's Namesake Comes to Fruition...Just Like It Does Every Other Week

Phun With Photoshop

For anyone who has never been to Fark.com, it is a constantly updated site with news, pictures, boobies, etc. Every day, they have two or three Photoshop contests, each with a different theme. I used to be moderately proficient with Photoshop, with no help at all from the COMMS department of course. But I finally decided to throw my artistic *ahem* talent into the cyber-mix with my own Photoshopped goodness.

The theme for this particular Photoshop contest was, "How life would change if your favorite movie prop really existed." Well, since I've always dreamed of having my own Mogwai slave, I present my gift to the Fark world...


Like I said on Fark, if I "accidentally" spilled iced tea on little Gizmo, I can get myself a whole gang of Mogwai servants. Hey, a man can dream, can't he?

What Dan Learned This Week

• My bimonthly near- hour-long trip to the cookie stand is still damn well worth it...
• Update: There are still no cookie stands in Hawaii...
• Average return time for any DVD you may let me borrow: four months...
• Everyone involved with the following television programs owe me back the hours of my life wasted viewing their mindless drivel: Mind of Mencia, Stella, Real World, and Celebrity Fit Club 2...
• "No Turn on Red" signs need to be in neon lights for the visually-impaired like myself...
• Crash Test Dummies just came on my Launchcast Radio, and that makes Dan happy...
• Having been relatively clean shaven for five years, I forgot how damn itchy goatees can get...
• A book actually exists on the history of Marple-Newtown Square, and I, for the life of me, cannot possibly figure out why...
• Because of people like me, Wikipedia really should reconsider their "anyone can edit our material" policy. That's just too much power...
• I have this strange yearning to watch Gremlins...

That is all.

Until next time...
Dan

What Dan Learned in Pittsburgh

On Monday and Tuesday, I traversed the mecca of steel known as Pittsburgh with my buddies Randy and Tom. Rather than give you a 179-page Seattle-like recap (for which I've averaged about an apology per page), we'll just skip right to the bulleted goodness...

What Dan Learned in Pittsburgh

• Ponderosa restaurants still exist in this crazy world. And they are still good, in a "my arteries have clogged beyond the point of recognition" type of way...
• I will never listen to Collective Soul again...
• I have been in cornfield mazes less confusing than the route to State College...
• If free parking at a hotel seems too good to be true, then just save yourself the headache and just pony up the 12 bucks upfront...
• The average shelf life of dollar store-bought batteries in a digital camera is roughly 47 seconds...
• Only I could manage to drive 300 miles to randomly see someone that A.) I haven't seen in eleven years and B.) highly despised...
• Having traveled said mileage to see the Phillies play the Pirates, I was so glad to see that the Phillies didn't phuck it up...
• There are few greater joys in life than selling out your Phillies cap-wearing friend to the opposing team's mascot. Those joys are escalated when said mascot squirts said friend with an entire can's worth of silly string...
• Having now met Phillies broadcaster Chris "Wheels" Wheeler, I officially dub thee, "The Man"...
• If you're looking for a place to eat in Pittsburgh, go to Philadelphia...
• Nothing defies Darwinian logic like watching idiots stopping their cars in the middle of major highways to look at fireworks...
• Ordering a sausage parmesan sandwich at midnight was not one of my smarter culinary choices...
• The mystique of scratchie lottery tickets has been debunked for me forever...
  
• There is no bigger indignation than being falsely accused of breaking a water noodle in a hotel swimming pool...
• Nothing inspires deference to God as having lightning strike roughly 100 feet from you...
• In case you were ever wondering, driving in torrential downpours with zero visibility on a major highway SUCKS...
• Whichever rest stop supervisor decided it was a good idea to place a tin foil-wrapped burger under a hot lamp needs to be seriously harmed in some fashion...
• Pepe (my car) kicked ass...

That is all.

Until next time...
Dan