Working For the Man, Part II

Let's waste no time and get right to it...

CVS

Duration of Stay
1 1/2 years (worked at separate points from 1997-1999)

Job Duties

• Cashier
• Customer service
• Preventing the sale of cigarettes to minors
  

What Dan Remembers...

• During my interview, Jim (the manager) and I got into a discussion about the internet, for whatever reason. He then asks me if I had ever been to Jennicam. Without explicitly knowing what it was, I assumed it had to do with boobs. And I was right. Again, this is during the interview.
• On my first day on the job, a mallrat got caught stealing candy. The manager brought him to the breakroom to interrogate him, and for whatever reason, asked me to watch him "at work." To this day, I have absolutely no idea why.
  
• Jim later asked one of his employees to pose for a nude website that he was supposedly starting up. Suffice to say, he got the axe.
  
• Sunday mornings were hell on earth. Why? It was always the first day of the new weekly sale. You wouldn't think people would threaten bodily harm over the lack of Creme Savers, but you only wouldn't think that if you never worked in retail.
• Working next to the photo lab occasionally led to some...shall we say...revealing photographic experiences.
• For whatever reason, I got a kick out of being the killjoy to kids wanting to buy cigarettes. No one else ever carded but me. It wasn't that I was a goody-goody; I just found perverse pleasure in pissing off my "peers."
  
• Speaking of said peers, I also did not let them buy condoms without a fight. Now obviously, there is no age limit on the sale of condoms. So I just took forever to deactivate the magnetic theft strip. Then I would drop them on the floor. Then I would "struggle" to get that pesky package of rubbers into the bag. There was no rhyme or reason to me doing this; I was just bitter because they were getting some and I wasn't.
• You know those mirrors at the top of every CVS? Let's put it this way; for those of you who always felt the need to check out your ass in those things, thanks for the peep show.
• Customers never quite comprehended the fact that I was a minimum-wage worker...thus I did not order merchandise...and thus I was not responsible if we ran out of Cadbury Eggs.
  

My Moment of Clarity (a/k/a when I got the hell out)
Eh, got tired of it.

What Dan Learned...
Don't ever say the words, "I will never do retail again."

That's all the energy I have to do today. Join us next time for "A Celebration of Food" (before a couple of green onions and a Hepatitis outbreak quelled that fiesta forever.)

Until next time...
Dan