A Calorie-Rich Blog Entry

I sit here on Sunday night, free Diet Coke in hand (thank you, Showboat) , ready to muse on the events of this past week.

Let the musing begin...

Then How Does Ronald McDonald Keep His Svelte Figure?

I finally saw Super Size Me this past weekend. Obviously, the deterring effects were minimal when my buddy Mike and I looked at each other and said, "Ready for Hibachi's?" It was still a very interesting study in American excess, particularly when it comes to food consumption. The film showed far too much cellulite for my liking, and I could have lived without the visual of him lurching up his fries. But it was very good nonetheless. It didn't really change my viewpoint a whole lot since I gave up excessive fast food eating several years ago. Then again, I never said to myself, "I'm going to eat nothing but McDonald's for an entire month and make a movie about it." But with the money that bastard made off the film, I'm sure he has enough Slim-Fast and Stacker 2 to last him a lifetime.

A Public Service Announcement

Each day, nationwide, an average of three mall cookie stands shut down (Stabb 498). Replacing these American institutions are Cingular stands, gumball machines, and, in many cases, absolutely nothing. The average American currently drives 45 minutes or more to find the nearest cookie stand. As Americans and as human beings, we can not allow this to happen.

Support your local cookie stand. Take advantage of every "Buy five, get one free" deal they offer. If you don't, the cookie stand may go the way of the arcade or Boston Market. While the world is a better place without Boston Markets, there would be a dark unfulfilled void in Mother Earth if cookie stands cease to exist.

Thank you.

Works Cited

Stabb, D. What The $!&* Happened To My Cookie Stand?
Pennsylvania. What Dan Learned Publications. 2005

What Dan Learned This Week

• Hawaii does not have cookie stands...
• Bartering cookies for hot Hawaiian girls is a fair trade-off...
• This has been a very cookie-intensive blog entry...
  
• Swami is a fighter...
• Two guys drinking Cokes and playing Photo Hunt at a bar probably gives off the wrong impression...
• The word "beard", when used in the proper context, is the best word in the English language...
• There is no greater form of artistic expression than the Onion Volcano at Hibachi...
• I'm still going to eat McDonald's...
• You know a mall is desolate when they have a prominent advertisement for Freaky Friday that says, "Coming Soon to DVD"...
• All of Atlantic City's past transgressions on my wallet have been forgiven...
• Wendy's greatly underestimates how many people are willing to show up at the drive-thru 12:30 on a Friday night...
• Organized Living and the sole black space on the Wheel of Fortune wheel have something in common...

That is all.

Until next time...
Dan