My Name Is Dan, And Blogging Is My Anti-drug

I know, it's been a few days since I last ventured into the dark, cold world known as "blogging." It's too early for "What Dan Learned This Week" since the possibility of capturing stupidity on a Saturday is still highly probable. So instead, I'll just share my scatterbrained randomness with my loyal reading audience. You know, all four of you...

If He's Dead, L. Ron Hubbard Is Turning In His Grave

I'm not usually one to give two shits about celebrity gossip, break-ups, barmitzvahs, etc. But let's be honest; this Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes fiasco is gripping stuff, if for no other reason than it being the official beginning of Cruise's downward spiral. The media has even gone as far to bestow an ingenious nickname upon them, TomKat. (Before I get comments questioning my sanity, remember folks...italics = sarcasm) Seriously, why is every celebrity couple getting a nickname these days? You have TomKat, Bennifer, Bennifer II...yet no one could come up with a good name for David Arquette and Courtney Cox?

But I digress...

I will say that in all honesty, I really don't think this is a publicity stunt. Because seriously, who out there is saying, "I want to see that movie starring Katie Holmes about that guy who dresses like a bat." And seriously, who out there is saying, "I want to see War of the Worlds."

Ok, I'm sure many people want to see the movie. But for the sake of my joke, we'll just stay in my sheltered little world.

As a final thought on a subject I've already devoted way too much webspace to, I sincerely hope that someone (whose name rhymes with Crook Fields) slips a Prozac in Tom's apple sauce. It's not that I'm a big fan of Crook Fields or antidepressants; I'm just a big sucker for karmic irony.

Say It Ain't So, Bo

From the Associated Press:

NEW YORK (AP) - Three weeks after being defeated by Carrie Underwood in the finals of American Idol, Bo Bice says he's happy he lost.

"People ask me, 'What were you thinking while you stood there waiting for them to announce the winner?"' Bice says in the issue of Rolling Stone magazine on newsstands Friday.

The answer?

"Please, God, don't let me win this thing."

Bice claims he never wanted the Idol crown to tarnish his southern rock rep.

If it makes you feel any better Bo, I didn't want you to win either. It's nothing personal; it was just an "I would want Carrie Underwood to be the mother of my children and/or a one night stand" type thing, that's all.

*Gulp*

My one good neighbor moved out this week, which means that it's just me and Mimi the Wonderbitch next door for right now. So if you hear a story of a diminuitive 25-year-old getting eaten by a 400-pound pot smoker in Chadds Ford, I kindly ask that you make sure my fish is taken care of...

Well, if she hasn't eaten him too...

Until next time...
Dan